[Daisy]

(Forgive the duplicate posts, but I'm not sure where most parents are meeting these days! )

Is this a trait of deaf children or is it just my son? my
expectations? homeschooling?

My son is 14 and HOH. I find him very . . . immature. I recall when he
was 2 or 3 being told this his receptive vocabulary was that of an 8
month old. I had forgotten about that until recently and thought
perhaps deaf children tend to mature later? (If his/her vocabulary has
been poor, that is.) I'm certain that homeschooling has kept him a bit
"young" because he isn't jaded like many public schoolers I've met.

I don't have any other kids so I don't know what's "normal." I still
have to tell him to shower, not to forget his smelly pits <very
embarrassing grin>, to get out of the shower, to get back in the
shower because he forgot his smelly pits(!), to go to bed, to stop
playing while doing homework, to start homework to begin with, etc,
etc, etc . . . It's never-ending and frankly, I'm tired of it. He's
supposed to be a freshman in high school now and I feel like he acts
like an 8-year-old. No improvement in his behavior or maturity level.
I have to supervise EVERYTHING or he'll "forget."

What do you think? I don't mean the question to be offensive, but
because hearing is so important to language, and language vital to
thoughts, and thoughts to growth, I honestly wonder if deaf kids
mature slower.

Thanks,
Daisy

p.s. It doesn't help that we've lived with my 10 yo nephew for a few
months who is complacent in everything...requires practically NO
supervision and obeys EVERYTHING. (

[momofms]

It could just be your child's personality.

I find sometimes it is very hard to determine what is because my son happens to be deaf, and what is "normal".

For instance, he didn't like to even look at books til this year.... he is 10 years old. But I know of other "hearing" boys that were the very same way.

My son is a "perfectionist" of sorts. His room is always clean, and he is always "slicking" back his hair! If he is greasy or dirty, he is fine, but if he gets wet or sticky, he has to change his clothes!

I don't know if I have anything I could add to help. Maybe what your son needs is someone that he really respects to tell him to "clean up"! If you just let him be "stinky" or messy, and then someone besides "Mom" were to, kindly, point out he needs to cleanup... It's just an idea.

Hopefully someone else has better wisdom to share!

Welcome aboard Daisy, glad to have you here!
Hang in there and DON'T give up!
You child is very worth it!
And thanks for your other post! I need to work on that one about teaching him more to be "happy with himself"!

Hugs to you!

[kimchrist]

Hey Daisy...As a mom of three boys and one who is involved with deaf youth...my thoughts are that your son MAY be a little immature, which is certainly the norm for many deaf kids, BUT for many hearing kids as well. I laughed at your commments about your son bc my soon-to-be 14 year old son is so stinky and so opposed to showering and doing other things related to personal hygeine. My 16 year old son has always been clean and organized and compliant and my 17 year old was a smelly boy too...he smells good now, but is not very concerned about his appearance or socail things. All that to say...though I do see deaf kids as appearing to be more socially immature, it is definitely an individual thing. I also think that a lot of deaf kids are naturally more physical and therefore seem to be more immature bc their sense of humor and actions are not the same as the hearing world...have you ever seen your son with other deaf kids his age, especially in a social situation? he probably fits right in. Relax...those first few years in high school are times of inceredible physical and social growth...enjoy!
Kim(mom of 6...5 hearing, 1 deaf; 4 boys, 2 girls)

[Daisy]

Well, it's been 2 years since I posted this about my son. I re-read my post and chuckled a little bit. I can't believe I expected more of a 14-year-old. I guess that's because I'm single and always either working or taking classes or both.

My son is 16 now and still a good kid (thank G-d!). He's much more responsible about the showers, but only a little improved with the homework. I am trying hard not to worry and just hope and pray it will come with age.

Thanks!
_________________
Daisy in Tampa

[Ambala25]

Thanks for taking the time to help, I really apprciate it.
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Enjoy your self